Wednesday, May 09, 2018

Old dads bend at the knees

I noticed today that I'm old, or I'm getting old. I feel very old, I've learned, when I stand at the changing table for too long and start to feel a weird tinge in my back. "You're hunched over, dummy." I say to myself "Bend your knees!" and then I have to adjust my stance and put my feet out wider so I am closer to the job at hand, like cleaning my baby's dirty butt, and not putting so much weight on my lower back. Also, it was really dark at the changing table, so I made this little floating shelf with an LED light under it that I could turn on to see things again, because I'm half blind from old age.

Put your baby's name on things that way you'll be less likely to forget it.

 I now can see all sorts of things better. Like my baby's beautiful face that's usually crying because I am annoying her with my diapering, which she hates. But mostly I see her dirty butt. I am going to do another post about how to make that shelf thing, because I am learning how to monetize this blog with useful content. To monetize means to turn my inane thoughts  (that you enjoy reading) into COLD HARD CASH by tricking people into clicking on links I embed in my writing. Like this: you hungry? Buy these banana snacks, they're hella good! I eat them all the time. Seriously, buy them. I'm not kidding. They're delicious.

That shelf I was talking about is really neat though. I built it from scraps I had lying around, I'm a woodworker by trade, a carpenter, you could say. So I threw it together real quick. The best thing I did, was get this switch you put on the ground so you can turn it on and off with no hands, like a guitar pedal.  I figured I'm going to be walking over there with my hands full of baby, why not find a switch I could put on the floor? How easy! I'll write up a "how-to" soon enough, you'll love it. Maybe I'll make a bunch of those and put them on Etsy and make all sorts of money. I guess that's what this blog is really about, how I can I turn a monetary negative, having a baby, into a monetary positive, blabbing about that silly baby on the internet in return for eyeballs on advertising. Thanks a-lot, America! I'm gonna spin poopie diapers into gold, GOLD I tell ya!

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